Kim & Steve Cooper

I know you are probably very busy and your time is precious, but what precious things in your life right now are in danger or at stake?

1. •Your Marriage
   

2. •Your Ability to Attract a Partner and Live Happily Together
   

3. •Your Kids Having Healthy Role Models to Learn Relationship Skills From
   

4. •Your Financial Security
   

5. •Your Ability to Make and Keep Friends 
   

6. •Yours and Your Kids’ Emotional and Physical Security and Friendships
   

If you have fears about any of these things, I have valuable new information here for you today that you simply cannot afford to skip over or miss. Your decision to give this information your full attention (and the time it deserves) will be an extremely valuable investment in yourself and your future.

Does Someone Close to You Suffer from NPD? ...

Our story involves narcissism or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), the disorder that is a major cause of emotional and domestic abuse and chronic marital fighting. We have gone public with our experience to help more people learn to recognise and deal with this condition.

Many professionals don’t believe there is any effective treatment or cure for this disorder, so please, if symptoms on this page sound like you or your partner, don’t rush straight out to find a psychologist, psychiatrist or doctor (or get lost in the gloom online while searching for information on this subject) before you let us personally offer you some very sound practical guidance from ordinary people who have overcome their relationship difficulties. We both understand and we care.”

I hope that by us sharing our experience it will help protect you from some of the mistakes that I made and the bitter and nasty people I ran into when I first discovered that Steve was NPD. We have information for you to put to use immediately if you are facing this problem (and advice on how best to find professionals to help you) and I look forward to sharing the steps I took to fix our marriage even when everyone said it was hopeless.

When you subscribe to our email list you will immediately receive:

3 vital questions you need to ask yourself to know you are not the abuser

3 things you should stop doing immediately that will only make the fighting worse

After years of fighting and emotional abuse, I was directed to read information on-line which led me to suspect that my husband Steve was suffering from Narcissism or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Even worse, when I talked to a professional mental healthcare worker about my suspicions, he agreed and I was told outright that I should divorce Steve and that there was no cure. I was treated like a fool for thinking he could get better.

Despite this (and although he was hurting me) I refused to abandon him. In my heart I knew that leaving was the wrong thing for me to do. There HAD to be answers. I received lots of professional help and advice, learned lots about psychology (and made a lot of mistakes) and then I finally discovered (from a friendly local police officer) the first of the steps I would take to end the fighting.

“Steve and I have a great marriage now and we want to help you find the same. We want to help you move past feeling rejected, humiliated, powerless (and even like you are going crazy) to knowing that you are truly loved and valued for who you are in your community and your home.”

Your partner treats you and perhaps your children differently in private than in public.

In public they may ignore you and give all of their attention to others, or pretend to be the perfect husband, father, wife or mother, while in private they are sarcastic, haughty and insulting and put people (even friends) down behind their back.

They will also have a very inflated sense of entitlement and ego, thinking that they deserve things that they haven’t worked for or earned and may lie and manipulate people for attention, acting a bit too good to be true. Indeed they can be very charming and this will fool people and so few will believe you if you disclose how they talk to their family in private.

They will also show little or no regard for your well-being or feelings and may act as if they are superior and more popular than you and show a lot of favouritism between your kids, while often being cold, arrogant, withdrawn and unavailable.

The criticism, insults and lack of involvement or concern for your well-being and feelings may cause you and/or your children to feel rejected, hurt, humiliated, powerless, ashamed and angry and can lead to mental health and psychological problems and addictions within your family.

I write from our experience, but there are narcissistic women as well; the statistics say that there are more men than women with narcissism, however our audience is about 50/50.

Female narcissists cause their male partners just as much pain and humiliation and cause just as much chaos and destruction in their lives and the lives of those close to them. If you are a man dealing with a woman in your life that displays this behaviour, we certainly want to help you too.

And in any case it is not black and white or men versus women. We all have narcissistic tendencies that can affect our relationships bady. Learning to deal with Steve’s narcissism also helped me face my own selfish tendencies and narcissism too.

You may have no idea of all of the lies they are telling you, as well as the lies and exaggerations they may be telling others about you.

If your narcissistic partner creates fights when you try to discuss money, you should be aware that they may be hiding credit cards or money transactions from you. They will pretend these fights are your fault, but this is really to try and cover their guilt by putting the blame on you.

Narcissistic individuals are obsessed by the fantasy of an ideal relationship that is ‘perfect’ (and therefore fantasy!) and are skilled liars so if the above symptoms describe your partner you should be aware that he/she may have secret crushes, be having affairs, using pornography and/or conducting ‘cyber’ affairs (lying that they are single) all without your knowledge. If you notice that their mind is often elsewhere, and they show other symptoms of this disorder, this might be the reason.

“Obsession with fantasy is part of what makes them unavailable, impatient and angry with you. It is a major symptom of this disorder. You may not want to consider this possibility, I know I didn’t believe it until the evidence was right in front of me ... and then I was shattered.”

It is even normal after years of this treatment (especially if you discover that they have been cheating on you, after years of insults, rudeness and blaming you for everything wrong in their life) for you to want to harm them or wish them dead. This is obviously very serious and so getting the right help and support is very important, but I found this help was nearly impossible to find. We care and are we are here to help!

We want to see you moving past feeling resentful and wanting to punish you partner or wanting revenge to instead feeling secure and good about yourself and moving into a new time in your life where you are loved, respected and valued in your family.

There are people who will tell you the only answer is to ‘leave and have no contact’ if your partner is narcissistic but I know that is very dangerous advice. This is exactly how to provoke and escalate rage and physical (and emotional) abuse and domestic violence in couples with these problems. It may also result in stalking. Even worse the perpetrator of the violence and stalking might be you, as partners of narcissists are often enraged by how callously their partners can ‘cast them aside' with no explanation.

More people are killed or injured in domestic disputes when leaving their relationship or in the two months after leaving than at any other time.

If you want to leave, of course that is OK, but please get our advice first on how to do it safely and how to get closure.

Before you give up on your marriage or take steps that may NOT improve your safety, I want to share with you a few comments from our subscribers. I have not included names here - but this is all genuine feedback from real people that our information has helped.

“It took Steve and I a long time to have the courage to go public with our story, but after things had been better with us for a few years we decided that we just had to.”

We saw so many people suffering that we couldn’t keep quiet any longer. It was embarrassing at first, but getting letters like the ones below makes it all worthwhile.

Confronting your partner with your belief that they may have this disorder is NOT the solution.

Also there is NO evidence of therapy being successful in treating narcissism, so your goal should NOT be to try and coerce your partner into therapy. Personality disorders are best helped with a reparative relationship. This is why we sometimes call our approach ‘parenting the adult’; Just as learning new parenting skills can help your child feel safe and learn better behaviour, you can learn new ways of responding and relating to your partner to help them in a very similar way.

This is not about ‘flooding them with love’ as I sometimes hear people mistakenly say. Love and trust ARE important but you will also need some very practical advice about limiting their abusive behaviour and dealing with your own emotions better. We are going to give you all the steps that YOU need to take, to earn your partner’s respect, build rapport and attachment, improve your feelings of self worth and to help you to reclaim your life and your home.

Immediately after subscribing you will receive a link to a private page where I will give you the 3 questions to ask yourself to be sure that it is not you causing the fights! I also want to share with you 3 things that you should stop doing immediately (that most partners of narcissists do daily) that will only make matters worse. All of this is completely free when you subscribe and is only two simple steps away.

We have loads to offer and so you will never spend hours searching for information on narcissism again. Family breakdown is probably the biggest problem in the community and we work diligently to provide you with the most up-to-date information available as cheaply as possible. We are real people and we are genuinely here to help.

We need to be able to stay in contact with you to share all we have to offer. If you do not confirm you will never hear from us again, so please make sure that you give an email address that is correct and that you can access straight away.

Here is your invitation to join our (tens of) thousands of subscribers who are working to overcome their marriage struggles and become positive role models for their kids and their community.

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If you don’t want to give us your e-mail address I do understand, you can see more about our products here - our products - and our privacy policy here - Privacy Policy - but please note that you will miss out on a valuable free gift offer and your radio show subscription (where you will receive free, private, ongoing support and where you will receive lots of information and resources free). If you are worried about privacy and need help signing up for an e-mail address where your partner or kids can’t access your mail, please go Here and get a free e-mail account that you can access from any computer

PLEASE NOTE - Kim is not a therapist or doctor, but her advice is well researched and has been reviewed by a professional psychotherapist and includes qualified advice from many sources including Social Services and the Police. Please note that you may however still want to read this Disclaimer and Privacy Policy before using this site or her products.

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