1. -Narcissism Test
   

Narcissism tests can be misleading.

1. -Are We Claiming a Cure for Narcissism? - No.
   

This site simply shares what we have learned on

our personal journey of recovery.

- Those Selfish Sneaky Brats - Meet the narcissists - an article on narcissism.

- Books on Narcissism - Our e-books and audio products at full price if you don’t wish to subscribe.

Codependency 

1. -Codependence in Yourself
   

Do you give your best but it is never enough?

1. -Codependence in Your Partner
   

Has your relationship become a depressing chore?

- Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Your Partner

Are You Treated Differently in Private than in Public?

1. -Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Yourself
   

Are Your Nerves Shattered from Hiding Your Shame?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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The Science of Love

3 Questions to Know it’s Not You Causing the Fights  ...

In this short movie I will share what I have learned about self soothing, including mistakes even “experts” make when learning this important life skill. I know self soothing is not easy to master - but today I will share my self soothing ‘secret weapon’ with you as well!

What is Self Soothing?

Self Soothing is the most powerful skill you can learn to become more attractive and more successful in every aspect of your life.

Self Soothing is the ability to stay calm and regain your composure when you become emotionally upset. It is at the heart of our program and a vital skill to master if you want more love and respect in your life.

Some people make the mistake of thinking self soothing is about never getting upset or losing your temper - but this is not the case at all. It is normal to get angry and upset when we are disrespected

However, if you are always dependent on your partner apologizing and making up with you after you have become angry or upset - to make you feel better - you will unwittingly become a kind of emotional vampire that comes across as very needy and dependent. This is very unattractive and will damage your love connection - while also giving all of your power away to your partner’s bad behavior, just when you need your inner strength the most.

Do you feel that being angry or upset with your partner is the only way to have any influence with them?  Or perhaps that having someone help you feel better when you are upset is what love is all about?

There is much more about this in my ebooks, but really nothing could be further from the truth ...

Another mistake people often make is thinking that calming down after an upset means ignoring what happened or pretending everything is OK and denying your feelings or ‘pushing them down’. Again this isn’t true.

Learning to take note of what made you angry or upset - as soon as possible after you notice it* and then going back and dealing with that issue again a few days later, once you are calm and right within yourself, is just as important as being able to soothe yourself and get back on track with your own goals after you have become upset.

This is emotional intelligence and I offer much more on helping you understand what signals your emotions are giving you in my ebooks. Needing someone else to soothe you - and especially the person who upset you in the first place  - will leave you as vulnerable as a child and completely unable to set boundaries effectively in your life.

Now I know there may be part of you that longs to be loved like a baby - but I will tell you straight up that you are the only person who can give yourself that kind of love. No one wants the responsibility of caring for an adult who has the emotional needs of a baby or child. Wouldn’t you rather be loved as an adult? Isn’t that what respect is all about?  

This will not be easy at first and you will not learn this new response overnight, but I assure you that you CAN learn new and better ways or responding.  

You will make mistakes sure, and that is okay. It will take time too for this new response to change the circumstances of your life.

Has the conflict in your home left you feeling rattled? Talking about your problems won’t help you calm down and will probably make you feel even worse. And I am sure you if you think about it you will realize that drinking or drugs are only going to increase your anxiety. 

You may need to talk to someone to get support in setting boundaries and prevent the situation that upset you happening again but that will go 100% better if you soothe yourself first and find your inner balance again before you ask for help.  

Back when Steve and I were our own worst enemies, I used to feel I would almost die when he did not reach out to soothe me after we had been fighting. The healing in our relationship began when I realized that I had to overcome this feeling because my natural instincts were impaired.

I had to learn to be strong and get back on my feet again quickly and how to start being an adult instead of acting like a baby if we were going to get our life together back on track.

I want you to find that strength in yourself too and to help you discover that you can be in charge of your moods and your state of mind. It takes training and patience - but mastering this will undoubtably change your life.

Hang in there!

Kim Cooper

* Our emotional brain triggers much faster than our ‘thinking’ brain can keep up with.

Of course he could not help me feel better at these times because he didn’t even know how to help himself to feel better when we were fighting and both felt upset.

“Learning to soothe your own negative emotions is an important step on the

road to becoming attractive and earning people’s respect. Learning new

ways of soothing your own negative emotions will help you heal all of the

relationships in your life.” 

1. -Self Soothing

Narcissism

- Emotional abuse

- Verbal abuse

- Mental abuse

- Domestic abuse

The Narcissistic / Codependent Marriage

Symptoms

Private, More Effective & Much Less Expensive than Therapy or Marriage Counseling ...

- Narcissistic Codependent Symptoms Checklist

- Affairs (physical, emotional & fantasy)

1. -Scapegoating