Arrogance is Not the Test

The standard test for narcissism describes a person with an inflated opinion of themselves who is haughty, arrogant and lacks empathy . . . but this can be misleading.

The problem is that a person who is always haughty, arrogant, and emotionally distant is unlikely to test positive for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Only looking for arrogance and a lack of empathy can lead people suffering from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), SPD (Schizoid Personality Disorder) or who are even on the autism spectrum, being misdiagnosed by their spouse or family.

Instead, a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will be two-faced and manipulative, meaning that rather than arrogant they may well appear socially well adjusted and be charming and polite.

People with narcissistic tendencies often lead a double life. In public, they present as charming and cooperative, while in private they will be mean, critical, controlling and aggressive toward their family. In this way the person with NPD will make their family members feel intimidated and frightened while also making them feel that they are to blame for the fights.

A Better Test

My husband Steve and I are not doctors. Instead, we became experts by living through Steve’s battle with this disorder ourselves. Over the past 5 years we have helped thousands of couples and families and have devised a quick test which includes 3 vital questions you must ask yourself to get straight to the heart of what narcissism in a marriage is about, in a practical and useful way.

You will find these 3 questions at The N/C Marriage.