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An abusive person may see their partner as a kind of parental figure and so may feel vulnerable or threatened if their partner shows any sign of weakness. On the other hand signs of strength in their partner may cause them to fear they might be abandoned.
Emotions are powerful and if you don’t know what they are signaling can be very hard to manage (see our webpage on codependency).
Emotional abuse may be inflicted by a partner who feels vulnerable and unable to deal with life or who may be puffing themselves up with pride to hide their shame and fear of abandonment.
Does your partner respond to your emotions in inappropriate ways?
You cannot increase your general intelligence - but happily you can increase your emotional intelligence. Working on this and other personal development skills to help you feel more secure as a person will certainly help ...
A very different form of emotional abuse occurs when a person uses their emotions to try and force their will on you, like insisting you obey them because they are angry, or expecting you drop everything and ‘cheer them up’ if they are depressed, angry, sad or upset.
Do they get grouchy when you are happy? Or perhaps they act happy (or ignore you) when you are angry, depressed or upset? Even worse, is that they may become aggressive and nasty when you feel vulnerable, hurt or sad.
Emotional Abuse
What is Emotional Abuse?
What if I am Guilty of Emotional Abuse?
Why Do People Inflict Emotional Abuse on Their Family?
What Can I Do if I am the Victim of Emotional Abuse?
Simply put they may want you strong enough to care and provide for them, but also too weak to ‘run away’.
This is just one form of emotional abuse.
What Can an Emotional Abuser Feel Threatened By?
Just because you can’t directly control a person’s behaviour to make them stop emotionally abusing you doesn’t mean you are powerless. In fact by shifting your own behaviour patterns and learning to set strong boundaries you can massively influence both sides of your relationship.
"After years of research trying to resolve
the never ending conflict that Steve and I once lived through,
I was finally directed to information which helped
me understand that the emotional abuse was a symptom
of our Narcissistic / Codependent Marriage ... "
This can result in a cycle of them knocking you down - only to pick you back up and insist that you stay on your feet.
Partly because of this, partners in abusive relationships often become chronically ill from the stress.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Your Partner
Are You Treated Different in Private than in Public?
Are Your Nerves Shattered from Hiding Your Shame?
Back from The Looking Glass
Living with the Disorder
that Causes Domestic Abuse ...
Kim and Steve Cooper
“In the end the solution I found to create a great marriage was NOT spending years on a therapist’s couch discussing who said what and why ...”
Relationship Experts - Because We’ve Been There!
Discover how to break the cycle of fighting Subscribe to this site and purchase our Steps to a Peaceful Home Program for ONLY $29.95 (Regular price $54.90)
Our Steps to a Peaceful Home Program includes Back From the Looking Glass and The Love Safety Net Workbook which you can purchase at full price Here.
Don’t want to share your email address?
Do You Have Married Friends Who Call or Sleep on Your Couch When They Fight?
Divorce usually doesn’t end the fights and can even make the hostility worse.
This verbal abuse and violence can be inflicted by both women and men.
At first the fights may only be verbal, but then over time violence can creep in as the fighting gets worse.
Our short ebook 'Back from the Looking Glass' offers 13 steps to end the conflict no matter how chronic or severe.
Whether you need this information for yourself or someone you care about I think you will find these steps invaluable.
“You're providing the "impossible to find ...”
Please write more. The broken hearts in this world need to identify with others and know there's spiritual help/friendship while they heal. You're providing the "impossible to find" these days. And even more, you're providing instructions for how to not cast the so-called permanently damaged out into the cold.
Hugs and love,
Kathy WaldenUSA
“Please keep the mail coming, it is a lifeline to me ...”
Kim I Will be brief but sincere,
Thank you for everything. I am sure you don’t know how much impact you have. It is very comforting to know you are there.
Please keep the mail coming, it is a lifeline to me ...
S
“I don't know what I'd do without your encouragement ...”
Kim, Thank you for your wonderful emails, I don't know what I'd do without your encouragement.
Henry
- Affairs (physical, emotional & fantasy)
©MODPOD2012
PLEASE NOTE - Kim and Steve are not therapists or doctors, but their advice is well researched and has been reviewed by professional mental health practitioners and includes qualified advice from many sources including Social Services and the Police. Please note that you may however still want to read this Disclaimer and Privacy Policy before getting advice from this site or their books.