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The good news is that recovery is possible and it only takes one person changing their ‘steps’ to end the downward spiral.

Let’s eavesdrop for a few moments on a Narcissistic / Codependent Marriage ...

Steve and I were once caught in this dance and the downward spiral continued for 10 long years!

The dance is one of mutual destruction and no matter how frightful the cycle of fighting becomes, the partners become “locked in step” and seem unable to break free. 

We believe the secret to a better relationship is not changing partners but instead learning new and better relationship skills.

What is the Narcissistic / Codependence Marriage?

Our Ebooks & Audio Products

The Love Safety Net Workbook
4 Skills to Build a Great Marriage

Kim and Steve Cooper

Five stars

The Little Book of Empathy Love

& Friendship
Are You treated like puppy or like a bug?

Kim Cooper

Five stars

Emotional Stupidity
Are You an Emotional Genius or Dunce?

Kim Cooper

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Loveable Me
Self Soothing Relaxation Audio

Kim and Steve Cooper

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Reconnect -

Appreciation and Respect
Conversation Topics for Groups

Kim and Steve Cooper

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Read More
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Back from the Looking Glass

10 Steps to Overcome Codependence
Are You Always Waiting for them to Call?

Kim Cooper


The Narcissistic / Codependent Marriage

In this marriage the partners hurt and blame each other with each partner’s ‘steps’ mirroring the other; as one parter moves closer the other moves away.  

Many people say the narcissist is the only abuser in this type of relationship - but the pattern of codependency is abusive and destructive too and plays into ‘the dance’.

This site offers information on the symptoms and negative effects of the Codependent / Narcissistic marriage and the behavior you will need to unlearn for your marriage to improve.

Our books teach the steps you will need to take to create change and include the principles of a healthy and deeply satisfying home life.

Steve and I are not psychologists, but having lived through this change in our marriage I know first hand that improving your relationship does NOT depend on any of the following myths ...

  1. Myth 1. Women need to feel they have been heard. - This may be true sometimes, but if a woman is emotionally immature and wanting her partner to fulfill infantile or childish emotional needs, doing what it takes for her to feel heard may suck the very life out of the marriage. The truth is that both partners need to emotionally mature if the level of intimacy in their relationship is to develop and grow.  

  1. Myth 2. A man justs need ‘space’ and his own den or shed. - If this is to lock himself away to view porn or play fantasy computer games or watch reality TV, this is not a recipe for growth but a sure path to stagnation, immaturity and conflict.

  1. Myth 3. A couple needs to put plenty of time aside for talking through their feelings. - This kind of talk is often draining and counter productive and may see the codependent trying to play psychologist to their spouse. We suggest the exact opposite. In most N/C marriages at least one partner needs to become effective at ending non productive conversations

  1. Myth 4. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. - If a couple spends time together practicing healthy relationship habits togetherness will not create boredom, but trust and rapport. Absence, when the bonds in a relationship are not healthy and strong, will instead usually lead to unfaithfulness and affairs.

The answers you have looked for are here on this site. Take time to read and discover new ways of handling disrespect and become infinitely more attractive and influential. Otherwise where will you be in 10 years? Still feeling lonely and in need of a hero to save you? 

  1. Myth 5. People (especially if they are older) never change. - Research has shown that it is actually easier to learn new relationship skills when we are older. Without healthy role models however, people may swap roles from marriage to marriage being Narcissistic in their first marriage and then codependent in their second. If we can change from one unhealthy role to an other - why not take the time to learn a better role, which will bring you love and respect? 

We want to help you become your own hero! 

Codependent Wife: “Why am I the only one who cares!”

Narcissistic Husband: “Why won’t that nag get off my back and just  give me some space!”

Codependent Husband: “She is so coldhearted and cruel and just wants me to slave and pay her bills.”

Codependent Wife: “I am sick (and fear I might be dying) from his lack of love and attention towards me.”

Narcissistic Husband:“She is a nightmare and I would rather be anywhere but home!”

Narcissistic Husband: “Is it any wonder I cheat on her with the way she whines and nags?”

Codependent Wife: “He starts fights whenever I try and be nice to him and then blames the fights on me.”


The saying “It takes two to Tango” does not

describe the beautiful dance that is the Tango,

but the very ugly and debilitating ‘dance’

of the Narcissistic / Codependent marriage.



Back from The Looking Glass
Living with the Disorder

that Causes Domestic Abuse ...

Kim and Steve Cooper


I love the videos and the information that you send in emails to me. Thank you so much and please keep them coming. They are a marriage saver and are helping me take control back of my life and giving me the tools I need to make my marriage improve. 

The difference in me is making a difference in my husband's behavior towards me. 

Thank you so much!

Sandra B.

Kim, I don’t know if this email will actually get to you, but I wanted to thank you for your emails, they give me hope and I feel very warm hearted whenever I get an email from you.

This is a very difficult time in my life and one of  the best things I have ever done was put my email address into your website. 

Thank you for your support. 

Ashley R.

“One of the best things I have ever


“I love the videos ...”

Narcissistic Wife: “He’s so weak and needy - he should grow a spine.”

Do You Have Married Friends Who Call or Sleep on Your Couch When They Fight?

Whether you need this information for yourself or someone you care about I think you will find these steps invaluable.

Divorce usually doesn’t end the fights and can even make the hostility worse.

This abuse can be inflicted by both women and men. 

At first the fights are only verbal, but over time the fighting may get worse with violence creeping in.

Our short ebook 'Back from the Looking Glass' offers 13 steps to end the conflict no matter how chronic or severe.

- Affairs (physical, emotional & fantasy)

Symptoms Checklistnarcissism-codependence-checklist.html
Kim and Steve Cooper of The Love Safety Net
Kima nd Steve are your hosts at

Relationship Experts - Because We’ve Been There!

NOTE: If you have just discovered that your husband or wife has narcissistic tendencies it is very important that you DO NOT confront them with this information

without first subscribing and getting our advice.

3 Questions to Know it’s Not You Causing the Fights  ...

(Plus - 3 Things that Only Make the Fighting Worse)

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